Characters: Fraser/RayK and Dief
Word Count: 1,723
Summary: Everyone has regrets
Fraser was standing guard outside The Consulate. The sun was beating down upon the concrete intensifying the stench of the city, a smell of gasoline and metal.
Sometimes when he would go back to his room and remove his uniform it would smell like the city. He often wondered if the smell could penetrate the fabric and stick to his skin and soak into his very bones.
It wasn't that farfetched, Victoria's darkness had been bone deep and it had consumed her and had threatened to consume him. If things had gone differently he would have stayed on that train and let the darkness envelope him as he was enveloped in Victoria's embrace.
Now, he might be still but his thoughts were racing. He was thinking about Victoria and regrets. He regretted almost leaving Ray Vecchio and Dief and (more importantly) almost losing himself.
He heard someone walking up to him and Ray stood close
'Hey, Benton-buddy. I know you're still guarding stuff, but I thought I'd keep you company. I brought doughnuts,' Ray said as he held up a white bag.
Even though the bag Fraser could smell the sweet scent of pastries. Dief must have smelled it too because he ran outside and ran up to Ray.
Ray smiled and ran his fingers through Dief's fur. 'Hey, buddy. Want a doughnut?'
'I don't know. Fraser have something to say about that. Tell you what, I give you a doughnut and later we'll go to the park and run around for a while.'
Dief barked again.
Fraser had to fight to keep from smiling. He had no idea Ray was so worried about Dief's health.
Ray sat down in front of Fraser and opened his bag he took out a doughnut and Fraser heard Dief eat nosily.
Fraser couldn't see Ray, but Ray filled his other senses. His scent (a combination of shampoo and hair gel) filled Fraser's nose, the sound of Ray humming to himself reached Fraser's ear and Fraser was certain that if he opened his mouth he would be able to taste Ray.
It was an assault on the scenes and Fraser feared he would be consumed again. The thought startled Fraser; the only time he had felt like that he had been with Victoria.
Ray took out a harmonica and begin to play. The notes filled the air and several people stopped in front of The Consulate to listen. After Ray finished playing the people clapped. Ray took a bow and said 'Thanks. I'll be here all week.'
Once Fraser's guard duty was over he stretched, his back popped and Ray stood up.
'Hey, you wanna watch a game tonight?'
'Great! Let's get a move on.'
They walked to Ray's GTO that was parked around the corner. Fraser sat in the passenger seat while Dief jumped into the back and laid down.
Fraser settled back against the black leather seat and stared out the window as the city moved past. He spent the time sorting through his feelings where Ray was concerned. They might not have survived a snow storm, but they had survived a performance arsonist and several other life threatening situations. Most importantly they were close; they spent most of their free time together and Ray was so much more than just a Ray Vecchio impersonator.
'You okay over there?' Fraser heard Ray say.
'Of course. I was just thinking. Do you have regrets?'
'Yeah. Sure. I'm the king of regrets... in fact I...' Ray was cut off by a car that cut him off. Ray stomped on the brakes and they both jerked forward.
'Hey! Learn to drive, jerk!' Ray yelled out the window. He made a rude hand gesture. 'Can you believe that guy?'
They drove to Ray's apartment without farther incident. They walked to Ray's apartment and Fraser noticed how close Ray walked to him.
Ray opened the apartment door and Fraser walked to Ray couch. Sitting down, he took off his hat and sat it on Ray coffee table.
The table was covered with papers, dirty coffee mugs and a small ceramic turtle. Fraser picked up the turtle and wiped dust off its delicate ceramic shell. It didn't seem like something Ray would own, Fraser always thought of Ray as hard and tough, but it had a certain charm that fit Ray.
'You wanna a glass of milk?' Ray asked.
Ray went to the kitchen and came back with a glass filled with milk. Fraser took the glass, it was cool against his fingers and he took a drink. The cold milk slid down his throat.
Ray sat down on the couch and turned on the television.
Fraser tried to follow the game, but couldn't. Ray was so warm and close. After several innings Fraser couldn't stand it anymore. He had to do something.
'Ray?' Fraser turned to look at Ray. He was in profile like a Greek statue. Instead of pale marble, Ray's tanned skin made him look like bronze.
'Yeah?' Ray turned and looked at Fraser.
'I... Ah... Oh, dear.' Fraser couldn't seem to get the words out. He had many of the books in his grandparents library, but none of them touched on talking about feelings.
Fraser spied a piece of paper on Ray's coffee table and was struck by an idea. He picked it up and picked up a pen. Quickly he wrote how he felt on the paper and handed it to Ray.
Ray took the paper and as he read a big smile spread across his face. He took the pen and wrote on the paper. He handed back to Fraser.
It simply said, 'I do too'.
Now it was Fraser's turn to grin; it might have been three simples words, but they said so much.
'Can I kiss you?' Ray asked.
'Of course. I would enjoy that.'
'I don't know. I might be a bad kisser,' Ray said with a smile on his face.
'While I doubt that, if you are we will just have to practice until you become proficient at it.'
Ray's smile got even bigger. 'That we will. That we will. Come here.'
Ray reached for Fraser. He brushed their lips together and Fraser reached up and kneaded Ray shoulder, his t-shirt was worn and soft under Fraser's fingers.
When he felt Ray's tongue against his lips he opened his mouth and there tongues met. After several minutes of kissing they broke apart. They both panted.
'Was it good for you?' Ray asked as he rested his head on Fraser's shoulder.
'Wanna kiss some more?'
'Indeed,' Fraser said as Ray lifted his head and moved close.
They kissed for several long minutes. Ray broke the kiss.
'Do you think we should take Dief to the park? I did promise to help him work off that doughnut,' Ray said.
'Cool. Cool. Hey, did you an Vecchio ever kiss.'
'No. Ray was my friend.'
'Okay. I guess it wouldn't be good for my cover if we kissed in public huh?'
'Not as such. We can still kiss in your apartment.'
Ray grinned and stood up. 'Greatness. Let's get at her.'
Ray, Fraser and Dief walked to the park. Ray stood close and it all of Fraser's willpower not to pull Ray even closer, but he had to keep in mind that he was keeping Ray Vecchio safe.
Once at the park Ray took off running.
'Run, run, run as fast as you can you can't catch me I'm the ginger-Ray man,' Ray sang as Dief ran after him and nipped playful at Ray's heels.
Fraser had to grin. It seemed that Ray knew exactly how to get Dief to exercise.
After they had ran around the park more they ran back to Fraser and Ray sat down next to him. Ray's cheeks were red and his forehead glistened with sweat. Dief was panting as he rested his head on Ray's knee.
'Did you enjoy yourself?' Fraser asked.
'Yeah, yeah. God, I'm outta shape. I need to hit the heavy bag.'
'Perhaps we could go to your local gym tomorrow?'
Ray rubbed the back of his neck. 'Oh... I just remembered I got something to do tomorrow. Maybe we could hang out some other time.'
'Some other time then,' Fraser said trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice.
A week later, Fraser was once again standing guard. He was trying to organise his thoughts. His and Ray's relationship had changed. During the day they still worked together like a finely tuned engine, but at night things were different. Except for two nights when Fraser went to Ray's apartment and they ended up kissing, Ray always seemed busy. He even stopped coming by The Consulate. Fraser had tried to determine what he had done, but it was of no use.
Once his guard duty was over he came to a decision. He walked to Ray's apartment with a purpose.
He knocked on Ray apartment door. Ray opened the door and his eyes went wide. 'Hey, Frase. What's up?'
'Can I speak to you?'
'Sure. Come on in.'
Fraser walked into Ray's apartment and sat down on Ray's couch. Ray sat next to him.
'Have I done something wrong?' Fraser asked.
Ray's brow knitted in confusion. 'Huh?'
'It's just you never seem to want to spend time with me.'
Ray took Fraser hand and held it. Ray's skin was warm. 'Oh, I'm sorry. It's just I used to spend all my time with Stella and that's one of the reasons we went stale. We can't even be friends anymore and I regret that. I didn't want that to happen to us.'
Ray looked so upset that Fraser took his free hand and touched Ray cheek. 'Oh, see. I will make you a promise. If I ever get tried of spending time with you I will tell you so we can have some time apart and not go stale.'
'Really? You always keep your promises?'
'Of course I'm a Mountie.'
'Cool. Wanna watch the game?'
'That sounds delightful.'
Fraser sat back against Ray's couch and continued to hold Ray's hand. He didn't know if they would ever go stale, but he knew that he would never get tired of spending time with Ray.