Pairing: Fraser/RayK, Dief, Barbara and Damian Kowalski
Summary: Ray never realized how noisy the city was
Word Length: 3,256
An: This started life as a snippet, but really grew from there.
Living in the city all his life, Ray never realized how noisy it was. He would fall asleep to a lullaby of cars rushing down the road. In the morning he would wake up to the sound of his mom cooking breakfast. His walk to school was a chorus of beeping cars and people yelling at each other from apartment windows.
At night, he would do his homework at the nicked and scarred kitchen table listening to old Elvis records. Sometimes his parents would dance to Love Me Tender and he will always remember the sound of his mother's laughter as she was spun around the living room.
The first time he had made out with Stella, The Beatles had been on the radio. Yellow Submarine always brought a smile to his face.
Now, during the quest for the hand of Franklin he sometime (okay maybe all the time) wished Fraser had a t.v. or a radio or something. Even a walk-man would be greatness. During their first journey through Canada, he hadn't noticed the quiet, but then being delirious would do that to a person. He still had no idea where that red ship, green ship thing came from, but he thought it might have something to do with an old Mountie.
As he laid in their tent, he wished for even a radio station full of static or a t.v. channel that plays nothing but soap operas. He was almost certain that longing for soaps meant he was going nutty. Although he wondered what was happening on the Bold and the Breathless. It wasn't not his fault, his turtle liked it. How he ended up with a soap and talk show loving turtle he would never know.
As he laid under his sleeping bag all he can hear was the sound of his heart beating and Fraser's breath going in and out. He rolled over to be closer to Fraser and the sound of his breath. He couldn't see Fraser in the darkness, but hearing him is enough.
He wondered if Fraser missed the quiet when he lived in Chicago. Judging by the big grin on Fraser's face when he said he was home maybe he missed all of Canada.
He squirmed farther down inside his sleeping bag and tried to fall asleep. He knew he won't leave until Fraser told him to no matter how much he missed noise. As much as he longed for the sounds of the city he thought he would miss Fraser more and that really was a kick in the head.
No matter how much he would miss Fraser he would never ask him to come back to Chicago. Not because he thought Fraser would say no, but because he thought Fraser would say yes and be miserable. Fraser always seemed to put people ahead of himself.
In the morning he woke up alone. He wiggled out of his sleeping bag and stuck his head out of the tent. Fraser was sitting by a fire. His back was to Ray and Ray spent several moments just staring at Fraser's back.
He always knew Fraser was a big guy, but seeing that fur clad back surrounded by white made him look huge. Fraser once told Ray a story about a shapeshifter that could turn into a raven and he wondered if Fraser wasn't a shapeshifter too. Maybe he was a polar bear or a moose, something kind of big animal at least. Ray pictured himself rubbing white polar bear fur and has to shake his head to get rid of that image.
He went back into the tent and pulled on all the clothes he had. He looked like the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man and couldn't really move, but at least he was warm. The cold is nothing to mess with. He always thought 'cold enough to freeze your nuts off' was just an expression. He would like to keep all his body parts and not have to deal with frostbite.
He went over to the fire, removed his gloves and warmed his hands. He sat down on the blanket Fraser put on the ground. Closing his eyes he listened to the pop and crack of the fire, the smell of coffee and bacon hit him making his stomach growl.
'Are you hungry?' Fraser asked.
'Yep,' Ray said, his eyes still closed.
Without seeing the vast expanse of white he could imagine that he was back in Chicago and they're in the park. He can almost hear the city.
Something had been going around and around in Ray's brain like a hamster wheel. It was time to do something about it.
'Hey, Fraser. Can I ask you something?' Ray said as he opened his eyes and looked at Fraser. He was in profile and fire light is playing across his skin. Ray had the sudden urge to touch and see if Fraser's skin was as soft and warm as it looked.
'I'm going to say something, but you don't have to say anything back if you don't want to, okay?'
'Cool. Great. I like you.'
'I like you as well. You are a wonderful partner and friend.
Ray rubbed the back of his neck. 'No. No that's not what I meant... I meant...'
Ray knew he couldn't find the words and since he has always been an action man he decided to act. He leaned close to Fraser and kissed his cheek. Fraser turned his head and their lips meet. It is a brush of lips, but when Ray pulled away Fraser was grinning like Ray was Canada.
'I like you too,' Fraser said as he took Ray's hand.
Fraser's fingers are rough and calloused, but Ray can't stop rubbing his fingers over Fraser's hand. Fraser brought their hands up to his lips and kisses Ray's fingers.
The day went by in a blur. They took down their tent and sled through snow. It could have been any other day, but it was indeed a special day. As Ray sat in the sled Fraser was quiet above him.
That night after the set the tent and ate a dinner of beans, Fraser went into the tent and zipped their sleeping bags together. Ray fell asleep to the sound of Fraser heart beat and the feeling of Ray's arms around him. Canada might still be too quiet, but he could get used to the sound of Fraser's heart beating and all the other sounds Fraser could make.
He always thought Fraser slept flat on his back, but he had to admit he could get used to Fraser's arms.
That night he dreamed of the sounds of the city.
The next morning, he opened his eyes and for a moment he wondered why his apartment looked so funny. As he remembered where he was he felt himself smile. Fraser had returned his feelings.
He rolled over and came face to face with Fraser. His eyes are closed and he must be having a good dream because there is a slight smile on his face. Ray reached over and cupped Fraser's cheek, his skin felt warm. Fraser snuggled into Ray hand. He opened his eyes and his smile became bigger.
'Good morning, Ray.'
'Did you sleep well?'
'Yep. Did you?'
Fraser brought his hand up and cupped Ray's hand. 'I did. Although I must admit I was afraid I wouldn't sleep well. My experience with sleeping with people is limited.'
Ray grinned. He knew that was not what Fraser meant and maybe it was the fact that Ray was sporting morning wood, but 'sleeping with people' made Ray think of sex. Ray started to laugh to himself.
'What's so humorous?' Fraser asked.
'Nothing. Nothing. It's just that sleeping with people means sex where I'm from.'
Red spread across Fraser's cheek. 'Oh, dear. I've been meaning to talk to you about that. I know you're a very sexual person, but the last time I fornicated it ended badly and... That is to say...'
Ray looked at Fraser. He looked so uncomfortable that Ray stopped laughing 'Are you trying to say you don't wanna have sex with me?'
'Yes. Not forever, just until I feel more comfortable. I'm sorry. I would never deny you anything.'
Fraser's mouth turned down at the corners and he couldn't meet Ray's eyes.
'Hey, look at me. It's okay. You're not denying me. We're just holding off on sex. We'll do it when you're ready. Okay.' Ray kissed Fraser to show him just how all right he is with the situation.
He started by kissing the corner of Fraser's mouth and moved over to his lips. Lips that were warm and chapped. He ran his fingers through Fraser's hair.
Fraser made a happy noise and held Ray's shoulders. Fingers kneaded Ray's shoulders and slid up his neck.
As they kissed Ray felt himself rub against Fraser and he pulled away. If Fraser didn't want to have sex than Ray was going to stick to that.
'Is something wrong?' Fraser asked after Ray broke the kiss.
'Nah... I'm just... I'm just hard. You hear me?'
Fraser eyes went wide. 'Ah, I see. Perhaps you should take care of that.
Now it was Ray's turn to go wide eyed. 'Did you just tell me to jerk myself off?'
'I did. Would you be against that?'
Ray grinned. 'Nah. Sounds good to me. You against watching?'
'You would let me watch?'
'Sure. Sure,' Ray said as he wiggled out of his sleeping bag. He opened his pants and pulled out his cock. It was hard, the tip was a deep red and a spot of pre-come sat on the top of it.
'You got anything I can use?'
Fraser drug his eyes away from Ray's cock and went over to his bag. He pulled something out of the pocket and handed it to Ray.
Ray looked down and smirked. In his hand was a packet of condoms.
'Got something you want to tell me? You planning on something?'
'I have no idea what you mean. I was just prepared. I do have certain urges and it's always good to be prepared. The prophylactic is so there is no mess.'
Ray nodded as he pulled on the condom and started stroking himself. Fraser gasped as Ray stroked upward. As he stroked himself he watched Fraser. Fraser was focused on Ray's hand, his cheeks were red and his breath came out in pants.
Fraser reached under his sleeping bag and his arm started to move. Ray gasped. Fraser was jerking himself off and Ray wished he could see it.
Ray watched and matched his stroke to Fraser's. They stroked themselves, the air full of groans, until Ray felt his orgasm pool in his stomach. He tightened his grip and shut his eyes he came. He opened his eyes just in time to see Fraser come. Fraser's whole body shook.
Ray laid down against his sleeping bag. Even though they hadn't had sex, he thought maybe that was for the best. Sex with Fraser would probably cause the top of Ray's head to blow off.
Over the following weeks they fell into a comfortable pattern. During the day they would move across the tundra and at night they would have what Ray liked to call Fraser-sex. They would jerk off next to each other and Ray would fall asleep in Fraser's embrace.
In the morning Ray would wake up to Fraser kisses.
Sometimes Ray would miss the sounds of the city, but he wouldn't trade his time with Fraser for anything. Not even a pineapple pizza and a classic rock radio station.
One night Fraser became excited. Ray bundled up and they stood outside and watched as colored lights moved across the sky. As green lights twisted across a black sky Ray was reminded of his turtle. He hoped Turtle was having fun at Frannie's.
As red, blue, and green lights moved across the sky Fraser talked about the Northern Lights, but all Ray could hear was the sound of the lights. If he listened close he could hear a crackling sound.
Ray moved and stood behind Fraser. He wrapped his arms around Fraser's waist. He brushed his lips against Fraser neck. His skin smelled of sweat.
Ray didn't want the moment to end, but he knew it had to. He had to talk to Fraser.
'Hey, Fraser. I gotta tell you something.'
'Of course. You can tell me anything.'
'I gotta go back to Chicago.'
'Oh,' Fraser said sounding disappointed.
Ray turned Fraser around and looked into his eyes. Fraser's face might look the same, but his eyes gave him away. 'Hey. Hey. It wouldn't be forever I just need to take care of some stuff and then I'll be back.'
Ray kissed Fraser and Fraser gripped Ray tightly. They kissed for several long moments and wind blew and lights crackled.
Fraser broke the kiss. The moved in silent back to their tent. They stripped down to they're long johns and laid down on top of their sleeping bags.
Ray put a condom and gently stroked himself. He wasn't hard, but he felt like he needed to do it. It felt right.
'Can I touch you?' Fraser asked.
'Really? You sure you wanna do this?'
Fraser nodded and gently touch Ray cock. He moved his hand up and down and Ray groaned. Ray couldn't get enough of that warm touch.
After several strokes Ray thrust his hips up and Fraser stroked him faster. Faster and faster he stroked until Ray came with a shout.
Ray laid back and reached for Fraser. Fraser was hard and Ray stroked Fraser. His skin was warm and Fraser groaned as Ray stroked upward. Ray stroked Fraser twice when Fraser came.
He grinned into Fraser's neck. They had just had sex and while it wasn't quite like sex Ray had had before, but it was greatness.
After several weeks Ray went back to Chicago. Before he left he left his glasses with Fraser and Fraser gave him a worn, frayed sweater. Dief went with Ray. As Ray sat in the plane he was surround by Fraser's scent. He stepped off the plane and was surrounded by noise. The din of people was like a wall of sound.
He forgot about the noise as soon as he saw his mom waiting for him. He walked up to her and she pulled him into a hug.
She looked at him. 'You look different?'
'Different good or different bad?' Ray asked as the walked through the airport. The colors looked dull compared to bright white snow.
'Different good. You look happy.'
'I am. How you been?'
She shrugged. 'Same as always.'
They walked into the parking lot and Ray saw his GTO. She was shining in the sun.
'You brought my car?'
'Yep. I thought you'd want to drive it.'
His mom tossed him the keys and he slid behind the wheel. The smell on old leather and a pine air freshener surround him. He put the key in the ignition and turned it.
The engine came to life and it sounded like a symphony.
He thought about turning on the radio, he had missed that while in Canada, but he wanted to enjoy the sounds of his Goat. As he drove he felt his muscles loosen.
He looked over at his mom, she was smiling and that made Ray grin.
Once they got to his apartment he opened the door and stepped into the room. He thought he would feel like coming home as soon as he saw the walls and the old wooden floor, but as he looked around he didn't feel much of anything. It was just an apartment.
'Want something to eat?' Barbara asked.
'Yeah sure,' Ray said as he sat down on his couch.
Ray turned on the t.v. And kept the volume low.
After a while Barbara sat a plate of food in front of him and he ate meatloaf. The first bite cause him to groan, even though he had had his mom's meatloaf countless times it had to be the best meat loaf he ever had.
'How have you been?' Barbara asked as she sat down to Ray.
'I'm good. I'm great.'
'That's great. So you're happy with Benton?'
He almost choked on his meatloaf. His mom couldn't be talking about what he though she was talking about.
'Oh my. Did I get it wrong, are you and Benton not a couple.'
'How did you know?'
Barbara shook her hear. 'Oh, Stanley. You're not the only one with instincts. Whenever you call us and talk about Benton I can just hear the love in your voice.'
'Oh. Does dad know? Is that why he's not here?'
'He knows. I think he's okay with it. He's not hear because he's at a car show in Michigan. He wanted to be here but I told him you'd want him to have fun.'
'That's good. That greatness. So you're really okay with me and Fraser?
Barbara reached up and brushed her fingers against Ray's cheek. 'As long as you're happy I'm happy. Now how about some homemade chocolate cake.
Ray grinned there was nobody like his mom and nothing like his mom's chocolate cake.
That night Ray laid in his bed and couldn't sleep. The sounds of the city kept waking him up and his empty bed felt much too big. He heard Dief whimpering and having nothing better to do he opened his bedroom door and let Dief in.
Dief jumped on the bed and Ray went back to bed and tried to lay down. Dief snuggled close. Ray could hear Dief's heartbeat and feel Dief's warmth.
Ray fell asleep listening to Dief's heartbeat and dreaming of the Northern Lights.
Over the next few days Ray packed up his stuff. As he put his Chicago life in boxes he thought about his life in Canada. He didn't know what it would be like, but he could wait to find out.
As he was putting away his coffee mugs there was a knock at his door. Opening up the door he saw his dad. Damian was holding boxes and packing tape.
'Hey,' he said as he handed the boxes to Ray.
'I thought you might need some help.'
'Thanks. I could use the help.'
They walked through Ray's apartment. Once they got to the kitchen Ray started putting away his mugs.
'So you and the Mountie huh?' Damian said as he put some mugs in a box.
'Yep,' Ray said. He didn't look at his father he couldn't.
'Okay. The next time you're in Chicago why don't you and the Mountie come over for dinner.'
Ray grinned and felt like punching the air. If that wasn't his dad giving him his blessing he didn't know what was.
After a week in Chicago, Ray went back to Canada. As he sat in the small airplane his foot tapped. He wanted, no he needed, to see Fraser. His voice on the phone just wasn't the same.
Once he got off the plane he focused in on a bright red uniform. Fraser was standing in the middle of the airport like he was on guard duty.
He went up to Fraser and as their lips met all the noise went away and it was just them.
He couldn't wait to start his life with Fraser.